This is the first Saturday in months I woke-up feeling like a human being and not wondering if I had been drugged the night before. Annie is over, and like any major time consuming project, there are mixed feelings about the conclusion. I feel like we accomplished something really special. However, it is nice to not have the “What the hell is going to happen tonight?” feeling I have had hanging over my head the last few months take it’s final bow. Seriously, this one was interesting….a beautiful show in the end, but WOW. I hate it when people use the world “journey” to describe the process of play-making, but this one was more like the Odyssey. Sirens, monsters and challenges at every turn. I guess all of those things make you appreciate the outcome more.

Nonetheless, I sit here looking at two completely goofy animals and wonder what is next. I have a few things up my sleeve, but I think for today, I just want to sit and catchup on being in the moment and not wondering about what’s next.

To an outside observer, the class would have been misconstrued as an intense group psychotherapy session. We walked in on a group of actors in basic tanks and shorts adorned with various pieces of clothing. Caps, pants, aprons and under-skirting. A skeptical instructor asked probing questions as she headed around the circle trying to draw out the details of people’s lives.

The group of observers sat in seats at the side of the class and we learned the basic secrets of what drives these fictional characters. The characters were contrived by MFA acting students. The students invented a character after observing portraits at The Cleveland Art Museum and picking out a portrait subject to study and make a story for a few class sessions earlier. This basic exercise of character development was an intense thing to watch. The creation of these characters was so focused that it made me think on all of the actors who are sometimes said to be too deeply drawn into the fictions they portray.

As I walked out of the class I thought about the exercise and how that probing of character takes the idea of “Stepping onto someone’s shoes” to a whole new level. This was a type of empathy I only began to experience the last few months as a director. During that time I was stepping into the shoes of 10 year old girls to figure out what motivates them. I was thinking about how to approach the 60 year old seasoned veteran and get something new out of their performance. I was learning about how to communicate on general and specific planes of engagement

I also realized that in order to communicate with people you truly have to understand where they are coming from. Communication really has nothing to do with you, it has to do with learning what will strike a chord with your audience.

I realized at that moment that I need to become a psychologist. I discovered my motivation by deciding I need to figure out what motivates others.

The list of things I am obsessed with at the moment:

The Features
One of my FAVORITE new bands right now. I literally stumbled across this band on Stumble Upon. Their newest release “Some Kind of Salvation” is now on constant rotation in my playlist. They were just signed by Kings of Leon and 429/Bug Records.

Michael Symon’s Live to Cook
Local chef produces a book full of great and accessible recipes. I might cook through this book this year?

Purex 3 in 1 Laundry Sheets
If you live in an apartment and have to schlep your dirties back and forth these guys are so worth the money

Youth in Revolt
Saw this movie last weekend and I can’t remember the last time I laughed that hard in the movie theater. It’s a little bizarre and wacky but I am now on a mission to help everyone in my life further develop his or her inner Francois Dillinger – including myself.

Peet’s Coffee
I restrain myself from becoming a Starbucks junkie but I think Peet’s has me completely hooked with the bold but nutty flavor sans the insane jitters that Starbucks delivers.

Bistro on Lincoln Park in Tremont
One of my new favorite paces. Happy hour is amazing and lasts all night long. $5 plates of gourmet goodies. I went with 3 friends and we ordered all 11-appetizer plates and we walked out stuffed, tipsy and happy. And we only spent around $20 a piece. Go there now – try the truffle mac and cheese and baked polenta.

Missed Connections Blog
I absolutely adore the little illustrations of Missed Connections posts done by Sophie Blackall from Brooklyn. I love the idea of using “content as muse” and Sophie captures the underlying mystery, tenderness and bizarreness of reading the missed connections section on Craigslist.

Sherlock Holmes
She who never goes to the movies has actually been to the theater a lot lately…Robert Downy Jr. with his shirt off. I will stop there.
See it.

• These little girls are going to eat me alive this afternoon.

• With my luck some fat old lady will be the one to frisk me.

• It’s so sad…………Dead penguin.

• The fat one had brain damage from the plastic Pepsi rings lodged around his neck.

• It’s DILF weekend at the Q!!!

• Can we put spinners on your wheels? I am sure D—- can install something douchebaggy like that!

• I am hoping I won’t do a Britney at the salon and grab the clippers.

• We made it out on the other side…peeing cats, broken cars, dictators and all.

• Bowling, hj’s and bj’s…..bottom line.

• Yes, you are a cheetah, and Greg is now officially a cougar.

• Can we go to a donkey show for your wedding reception?
Um, no. Have you been watching Clerks 2?

• BTW Where are the hooker photos? I thought everyone sends back hooker photos when they travel.

• A goat tried to eat my purse today and I fed sharks and stingrays.

• Btw…Hitlers-Right-Hand-Man thought that M & J were a couple!

•  was in my lounge pants snuggling with my pets. Dipshits! All of them. I’m becoming a nun. God, here I come!

• Seriously, why is it always the douchebag that calls?

• Did Julia put Kevin’s hand down my shirt last night?

• Don’t forget that “I’m gonna get you pregnant” song for Greg’s Birthday Playlist.

• Only in Parma would you see a trailer-hitch with a nut sac hanging from it.

It is a given that every Saturday I will wake-up after the deepest sleep imaginable and wonder for a brief moment who I am, and why I feel like I have been hit by a bus. I can only attribute this phenomenon to the fact that I am directing a musical that features a dog, dancing maids and screaming little girls. This is where I now admit my insanity for choosing to direct “Annie” when proposing a show for the community theater I volunteered to direct for. We mainly rehearse on Friday night so after a day filled with needy college students and professors, I then turn around and pretend to know what I am doing for 3 to 4 hours of rehearsal with 30 little kids, 50 adults and before mentioned dog.

Let me let you in on a little clue I have learned – directing is mostly about acting. Meaning, I spend most of my night improvising stage directions and decisions while pretending not to be exasperated by the little girl with the missing tooth who asks a minimum of 3 questions every 5 minutes. I pretend that my entire plan on what we are accomplishing any given night is not altered in the first 5 minutes of getting to the theater, and I then pretend to know that “that” particular catastrophe was bound to happen while I try dot to let the thoughts of “What in Fucking Hell is Going On” read on my face.

Somehow though, when it gets to this moment – the one where I wake-up after sneaking an extra hour of sleep and am sipping on coffee thinking about the night before, I smile. Because despite my plans being shot to hell, despite the 57 questions I pretended to answer and despite the feeling that we will never get this up on stage in a presentable way – I know it will happen. How? Admittedly, I don’t have a clue in hell. I just believe.

Synthetic Alcohol Could Eliminate Regret-Filled Nights | Sustainability | Fast Company.

I LOVE SCIENCE!

People say that what you do New Year’s sets the tone for your entire year. Basically saying that the people you spend your time with will have an ongoing occurrence in your daily life, and that whatever happens in that time period will foretell repeating situations for the coming year.

If that’s’ true – apparently I will be bowling a hundred all year! Considering I have NEVER broken a hundred at bowling ever – I’ll take it. Really, how much more Parma can I get then to be bragging about breaking a 100 point bowling score on the internet? Seriously though, (as serious as a subject as bowling is…) I am oddly superstitious about things like this, so I view the bowling score like a fortune cookie. Confucius say – “Do not think (and drink other peoples beer) and you will do good.”

In full disclosure, I am thinking my improved score was due to the fact I spent my time dancing in between turns rather than slugging back Jeff’s PBR (without him ever noticing) like I did last time I attempted to bowl. Really though, the dude never noticed I drank 5 of his beers whenever he would have his back to me.

So before the bowling excursion a large group of friends all hit up Li Wah for (the now customary) New Years Day dim sum brunch. We ate dumplings and the pork and coconut bread rolls that made Julie declare, “ I want to live inside a pork bun.” Um duh, yes Julie we all do.

Before we sat down to eat we headed to the Asian trinket store across from the restaurant where I picked up a little Buddha statue last year in honor of the day. He was holding up two balls in a “raise the roof” position and really who can say no to a smiling Buddha looking like he is tearing up the temple dance floor.

So, without knowing the meanings behind the little guys I pick out a new little Buddha figurine this year that had a big satchel on his back, a gourd in his hand and a scroll in the other. Really, this was my only choice considering the other statuette was of a happy Buddha covered in 8 or 10 little chubby cupid type babies that only implies he is a fertility deity. No thank you. Kel-fucius say “One little chubby baby more than enough.”

So upon looking up the new Buddha later I discovered that he is the laughing Buddha of happy journeys (as signified by the satchel filled with treasures), good fortune (as signified by his good fortune scroll), and the fountain of youth (signified by the Wu Low gourd he carries). Now this is formation is also quick to explain that the fountain of youth is not inferred to be superficial youth. So hello 2010! Looks like I’m destined to be with child… but it’s ok because, LOOK YA’ALL, I BOWLED A HUNDRED!!!

I had an epiphany last night that somewhere along the line I never fully developed my inner bitch. I’m not talking about the overly aggressive, nasty, biting-for-no-reason-bitch, but the assertive, strong, outspoken get-what-she-wants-bitch.
The one who stops the jerks in their tracks and calls them out on their shit and then moves on to being a nice, creative, happy human being again in one swift movement.

In many ways I let 2009 happen to me. I had a lot of great things happen, but I spent a large amount of time listening to people and not telling them what I really think despite them asking for my advice on the situation. I was afraid of being mean or insensitive. What I failed to realize is I was letting people be insensitive to my time or feelings in the process.

Every once in a while I will go into a crabby sort of rant in front of my friend Greg who always exclaims “GRRRRR!I LOVE this side of you!” I can see why he likes it – it’s sassy, intelligent and right to the point. It matches up better with my personality.

Trust me, I have no desire to be a mean and nasty person and my inner optimist will never let me become rude. However, I am on a mission to not let people be rude to me anymore. If I get called a bitch in the process, it is a sacrifice I am willing to make.

Before our Eyes: 2009 from Keli Schimelpfenig on Vimeo.

ok – If you are a reader, (really I have readers??? WTH, but I LOVE YOU!!!) I apologize for not writing in such a long time. I needed a break,  and decided to redesign this space. Not to mention the fact that I landed my dream, decided to direct a musical and lost my past posts on my (not that old) shitty PC.  Yeah insanity…

So here I am somewhat renewed, with lots of cool stuff happening around me. I decided I need an outlet again. Forgive the past few nonsense out of order posts. I was testing out the photo and editing capabilities in WordPress. Cool new stuff is coming very soon. I promise.

And so this is Christmas…time to go eat more cookies.

xoxo