This is the first Saturday in months I woke-up feeling like a human being and not wondering if I had been drugged the night before. Annie is over, and like any major time consuming project, there are mixed feelings about the conclusion. I feel like we accomplished something really special. However, it is nice to not have the “What the hell is going to happen tonight?” feeling I have had hanging over my head the last few months take it’s final bow. Seriously, this one was interesting….a beautiful show in the end, but WOW. I hate it when people use the world “journey” to describe the process of play-making, but this one was more like the Odyssey. Sirens, monsters and challenges at every turn. I guess all of those things make you appreciate the outcome more.

Nonetheless, I sit here looking at two completely goofy animals and wonder what is next. I have a few things up my sleeve, but I think for today, I just want to sit and catchup on being in the moment and not wondering about what’s next.

To an outside observer, the class would have been misconstrued as an intense group psychotherapy session. We walked in on a group of actors in basic tanks and shorts adorned with various pieces of clothing. Caps, pants, aprons and under-skirting. A skeptical instructor asked probing questions as she headed around the circle trying to draw out the details of people’s lives.

The group of observers sat in seats at the side of the class and we learned the basic secrets of what drives these fictional characters. The characters were contrived by MFA acting students. The students invented a character after observing portraits at The Cleveland Art Museum and picking out a portrait subject to study and make a story for a few class sessions earlier. This basic exercise of character development was an intense thing to watch. The creation of these characters was so focused that it made me think on all of the actors who are sometimes said to be too deeply drawn into the fictions they portray.

As I walked out of the class I thought about the exercise and how that probing of character takes the idea of “Stepping onto someone’s shoes” to a whole new level. This was a type of empathy I only began to experience the last few months as a director. During that time I was stepping into the shoes of 10 year old girls to figure out what motivates them. I was thinking about how to approach the 60 year old seasoned veteran and get something new out of their performance. I was learning about how to communicate on general and specific planes of engagement

I also realized that in order to communicate with people you truly have to understand where they are coming from. Communication really has nothing to do with you, it has to do with learning what will strike a chord with your audience.

I realized at that moment that I need to become a psychologist. I discovered my motivation by deciding I need to figure out what motivates others.