You see, I ended up finding the overdue books tucked away with some Christmas decorations last year when I decorated my apartment for the first time in 3 years.  I had been living like a transient since leaving Lakewood in ’05. When I found the books I started to feel all squeamish and guilty, so I tucked them back in the closet to deal with later. A full year later…I love books,  yet my fear of returning books that were 4 years overdue kept me from running back through the sacred doors when I moved back to Lakweood. So I waited,  and waited,  and figured I had lost books as well and then there would be fines,  so I avoided things.

I finally cleaned out my storage closet and decided that Monday would be the day that I make all things right with the world, suck it up and pay the huge fines. So I dug out the books and rang the circulation desk. “Four years overdue” the librarian laughed. “Well, I moved and found them in with the Christmas decorations” I said leaving out the part that it was LAST Christmas. I waited for her to give me the obnoxious amount I owed them. “Well you have four missing magazines but those can be replaced by bringing us four new ones and your fines come to a total of $5″ she said. “That’s it?” I replied. “Yes, we max out at a dollar per item on overdue charges” she answered.

Now to tell you I was overjoyed makes me sound like an even bigger nerd, but now I could once again have my fantasy about getting it on in the library stacks without thinking about the huge fines I owed. Because really,  who doesn’t have some sort of naughty library fantasy… and if you don’t,  well,  you should get a little trashy and imagine one.

I walked in with my $5, the replacement magazines and am now a proud owner of a library card again. I walked around a little and spotted the cute nerd that I had seen at the Spitfire the night before. Really a guy who hangs at the punk bar and the library? Um, yeah that supplies more fuel to the library fantasy.I walked out with an Emma Goldman biography, a cd by The Hold Steady (amongst other selections) and a renewed sensibility to deal with stuff sooner.